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I couldn't do anything without rituals. They transcended
every aspect of my life. Counting was big for me. When
I set my alarm at night, I had to set it to a number that
wouldn't add up to a "bad" number. If my sister
was 33 and I was 24, I couldn't leave the TV on Channel
33 or 24. I would wash my hair three times as opposed
to once because three was a good luck number and one wasn't.
It took me longer to read because I'd count the lines
in a paragraph. If I was writing a term paper, I couldn't
have a certain number of words on a line if it added up
to a bad number. I was always worried that if I didn't
do something, my parents were going to die. Or I would
worry about harming my parents, which was completely irrational.
I couldn't wear anything that said Boston because my parents
were from Boston. I couldn't write the word "death"
because I was worried that something bad would happen.
"Getting
dressed in the morning was tough because I had a routine,
and if I deviated from that routine, I'd have to get
dressed again. I knew the rituals didn't make sense,
but I couldn't seem to overcome them until I had therapy."
Obsessive-Compulsive
Disorder is characterized by uncontrollable obsessions
and compulsions which the sufferer usually recognizes
as being excessive or unreasonable. Obsessions are recurring
thoughts or impulses that are intrusive or inappropriate
and cause the sufferer anxiety.
Compulsions
are repetitive behaviors or rituals performed by the
OCD sufferer, performance of these rituals neutralize
the anxiety caused by obsessive thoughts, relief is
only temporary. Compulsions are incorporated into the
person's daily routine and are not always directly related
to the obsessive thought, for example, a person who
has aggressive thoughts may count floor tiles in an
effort to control the thought.
OCD can interfere
with one's ability to concentrate, and it is not uncommon
for a sufferer to avoid certain situations, for example,
someone who is obsessed with cleanliness may be unable
to use public restrooms.
Onset of
OCD is usually gradual and most often begins in adolescence
or early adulthood. Unlike adults, children with OCD
do not realize that their obsessions and compulsions,
which are most often of the washing, checking, and ordering
variety, are excessive.
Take
an OCD self-test.
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